{"id":1401,"date":"2020-03-23T21:52:17","date_gmt":"2020-03-24T04:52:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.scottneelan.com\/index.php\/2020\/03\/23\/the-struggle\/"},"modified":"2020-03-25T10:08:14","modified_gmt":"2020-03-25T17:08:14","slug":"the-struggle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.scottneelan.com\/index.php\/2020\/03\/23\/the-struggle\/","title":{"rendered":"The Struggle"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I\u2019ve tried so hard so long
to be a bigger man and better person
Than I think I have what it takes to be
I just can\u2019t do it anymore
My shoulders are breaking under the strain
My head\u2019s a jumbled mess
And my heart still hasn\u2019t gotten it together
And while I keep up the facade
Inside my world is crumbling
And I\u2019m so afraid that everyone will see
The walking disaster I barely keep inside
I don\u2019t want to break down
I can\u2019t afford to fail, can\u2019t let myself stumble
But I\u2019m not sure how long I can keep moving
When nothing goes as planned
And I\u2019m just so lost and confused
That even if I knew which way was up
I\u2019m not sure I could go in the right direction
But there\u2019s too much at stake
The responsibility I carry too great
To let it all go
So I keep up the struggle
On up that same hill
Waiting for the rock to fall back down
And part of me wishing it would crush me<\/p>\n<\/body>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019ve tried so hard so longto be a bigger man and better personThan I think I have what it takes to beI just can\u2019t do it anymoreMy shoulders are breaking under the strainMy head\u2019s a jumbled messAnd my heart still … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1401","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-writing"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Struggle - 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