Those words keep growing <\/p>\n\n\n\n
in the back of my throat <\/p>\n\n\n\n
choking off the airway <\/p>\n\n\n\n
and pushing my tongue into my teeth <\/p>\n\n\n\n
so difficult to force out <\/p>\n\n\n\n
after all the times I\u2019ve come to regret <\/p>\n\n\n\n
letting them out <\/p>\n\n\n\n
so burned, so scarred <\/p>\n\n\n\n
by the mistake of believing them <\/p>\n\n\n\n
time after time and now here I am<\/p>\n\n\n\n
having to hold them back again <\/p>\n\n\n\n
to stamp them down <\/p>\n\n\n\n
lest they burst forth <\/p>\n\n\n\n
like the spark that sets a wildfire <\/p>\n\n\n\n
burning out of control <\/p>\n\n\n\n
so sick of turning into ashes <\/p>\n\n\n\n
having to dig to find the pieces <\/p>\n\n\n\n
to reassemble yet again <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t think I have it in me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
to rebuild myself again <\/p>\n\n\n\n
and every time I\u2019ve ever been <\/p>\n\n\n\n
sure of anything in my life <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ve learned the hard way <\/p>\n\n\n\n
to never be sure of anything again<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So don\u2019t hold your breath <\/p>\n\n\n\n
waiting for me to speak first <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ll need a better signal <\/p>\n\n\n\n
something to inspire <\/p>\n\n\n\n
even a modicum of trust <\/p>\n\n\n\n
in what I see and feel this time around <\/p>\n<\/body>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"