I hear it in the back of my head

“Good job, you’ve done it again”

and I think I know better,

but do I really?

Silence has always been deafening

when I’m the one reaching out

despite what I’ve been told before

I can’t help but take it personally

Did I come off too strong again?

Did I let out a little too much of my crazy?

I try so hard to hide it all

but at the same time let it out

so that it doesn’t haunt me

And now it’s feasting on this

repeating all possible failures

filling the silence with self-loathing

and I have no distractions

nothing to pull me

away from the sound

of my own head

This is what happens

when I try to live

when I let myself feel

I feel too strongly

it overwhelms me

and then I do something

to make sure I stop

Please break the silence

let the voices be wrong

give me something to cling to

as I try to pull myself together

Lost in this darkness

forever alone

forever left behind

forever a problem best forgotten

forever broken