It’s funny to look back

not sure why she crossed my mind today

Probably ’cause I’m still trying

to clear out the wreckage she left behind

Wonder if she’d still hate the idea

of being my muse and inspiration

as much as she did when she figured out

some of my words were about her

I’ll never understand

how I ended up so lost

trying to follow someone

that clearly didn’t know how to lead

Mixed signals and missed messages

crossed wires and cross attitudes

One step forward, three steps back

is all it ever was

Your standard school kid love affair

as conducted in your thirties

So much immaturity

from every side and angle

The damage left behind

on my own poor psyche

is so much greater in importance

than anything else that ever came

I still hesitate

to share the level of my emotion

with anyone, thanks to her

and our implosion when she realized

she’d led a lovesick fool

to get stuck inside her orbit

but there was no room there for me

We never spoke again, did we?

Funny how that works, I guess

So sure she’d mean something forever

and I was kinda sorta right

but not in any way I wanted

as I try to peel back scars

her presence left behind