Someone tell my head
to stop running away from me
with potential possibilities
that clearly haven’t happened yet
and just by rules of common chance
aren’t even remotely likely
I always say to hope for the best
while expecting the worst
the idea being to never be disappointed
and I always trick myself
and end up disappointed anyway
when something doesn’t happen
like I should’ve known it would
I’ll spend far too much time
agonizing over what might be
to the point where what ends up
can’t possibly be enough
I should know to settle
things aren’t perfect all the time
but if given even the smallest chance
the dimmest flicker of hope
I’ll grab that bitch like a life preserver
and float right into the rapids
down and over the water’s edge
and drown again in the emptiness
waiting there for me