I wish that I was getting lost in you, with you

Instead I’m sitting here, alone,

getting lost in music and memories insread

A mile or two of real-world distance

and a giant gulf of feelings and desires

stretch out between us, dividing,

separating, isolating,

too far for me to ever dream of crossing

I lost that chance long ago

and I’m not convinced it would’ve been right

to take it even if I could

but I can sure torture myself with the thought

If only is a sobering thought

One that never leads anywhere

and never closes gaps

but we all think it anyway

Some more than others

I think about it

I think about you

far more than I ever should

I only have to remind myself

a thousand times a day

that it wasn’t a breakup

it shouldn’t still bother me like this

and the way things ended

I should be happy it fell apart when it did

But it fell apart

and it was so close to beconing

everything I ever wanted

which is something I’m not sure

that I’m allowed to have

So I sit here, lost again,

alone and wondering

if you think of me at all

I doubt it

You’re the one living life

while I’m stuck here dreaming

and wishing I could just stay lost

in something, anything else

forever