Feels like I’m in a fun house hallway

in every direction a mirror

reflecting my failures and shortcomings

and down at the end of the hall

there’s a projector showing my every mistake

on twenty-four seven repeat

with slow motion rewind and commentary

highlighting the most painful seconds

No matter what I do there’s no escaping

any happiness that makes it inside is fleeting

and anyone that ties to join me

can never bear to stay

once they see what I really am

they inevitably run away

All that I exist for is self-torture

I think it’s time to hide away

to lick my wounds and heal

If it’s beyond these four walls

it can only hurt me

All I need is here, inside

To step outside and try to live

ends in pain and misery

Much better to just sit here

putting walls and screens between myself

and everyone and everything

because nothing good ever comes

of when I stick my head out

and take it upon myself

to act like I belong

My world is here

alone

Reaching out yet again to the void

pouring my heart out to nothing and no one

I keep trying to share my world

but no one ever sticks around

long enough to join me

At best they drift in and out

at worst they run once I’ve shown too much

but no one ever stays for long

That hole that stands beside me

is all I have to rely on

Its place is never filled for long

no matter how I try

There’s only ever one set of footsteps

left in the shifting sands of time

that I find myself drifting through

I’m still not sure if I’m too much

or just not enough

but either way I’m not the right amount

for anyone else to handle

So I struggle to share

with nothing and no one

and a lack of anything to show

for all the effort given

for those unworthy of the time

and energy I spared

or else they’d still be here

to see and hear what I try to show

Again the audience is empty

playing to a crowded room

of silence and space

Every time I think of her

I hate how sad and small I am

dreaming of someone that walked away

when I needed them most

Missing her hurts that mucb more

when I remember what she did

and have to stop and ask myself

why I’d ever want someone

so eager to disappear

back in a position where

she’d probably walk away again?

I was at my worst, of course,

but she couldn’t handle that so well

so what makes any part of me

think she’s worth the time and effort

to be a part of my life

in any way, shape, or form?

But emotions aren’t always logical

and they’re not always right

They’re just there to be dealt with

and right now I have to deal with

a hole in my life

and a void in my heart

and memories that hurt