It seems like a lifetime ago

when visions of the past

creep up and take hold

Heart racing and stomach churning

as memories flash by

like your life

when death comes calling

I can’t shake the feeling

can’t get past the failures

that haunt me

People and places lost

in my life no longer

except when they decide

to appear again at random

and trigger fight or flight

What hurts most

is the bitterness

The anger festering

underneath the surface

that the thought of you

or the site of your name

brings rushing forward

This what you’ve left me with

when I became too much

We were just like family

much like a shitty workplace

Family so long

as some value can be found

But once the well runs dry

you move on

and I’m still here

still dealing with the drought

but now alone

You get away with vanishing

with walking away from me and this

Why can’t I ever be the one

that gets to disappear?