Staring at the fun house mirror

seeing your sins reflected

and distorted in the glass

Watching this parade of errors

like gazing in the looking glass,

viewing a potential future

a glimpse into the darkest time line

The worst parts of you on grand display

for all the world to witness

at least a little solace drawn

to see it from someone else instead

But knowing that could have been you

and the depths you could have sunk

leads to little comfort

as you’re forced to face it all

Hard truths to swallow and to learn from

as you witness another’s self-destruction

So long spent on your escape

So much time and effort

into growth and understanding

and for what?

It’s so easy to throw it all away,

turn right back around and walk

into the void you tried so hard

to turn your back on

So much given all for nothing

So much of you to cast aside

only to pick up the pieces

you removed so long ago

and use them to fill the gaps

Becoming someone worthy

just to let the facade fall

when the going gets too tough

All that sacrifice

just to fill the future

with the baggage of the past

Unrecognizable from the beacon you’d become

to the shadow of the truth you hide behind

The thing about consequences

they tend to sneak up on you

no matter the situation

or the circumstance.

They find you in the strangest places

and care little for excuses,

choosing to come back and bite

when their hunger grows too strong.

That Newton’s law about reactions

applies to more than earthly forces.

There’s always something waiting for you

to come back in return.

I don’t know what I truly miss,

the person or the memory

It felt so much like forever

but lasted so little of our lifetimes,

those moments of knowing and sharing,

of mutual understanding and connection

You can’t look back and tell me

that none of that was real

It can’t be disregarded,

abandoned or forgotten

Even so far removed

it creeps up on me time to time

The absence of that closeness,

the void left in the leaving,

the wasted time and effort

all for nothing but the pain

But worst of all, the thought that haunts

of what might have come to pass

had we stayed close and found

where that path we walked would take us

without the broken ending

that led to our separate ways

Sometimes it’s just easier to fall,

to let it all drop to the ground

There’s a certain calmness

in the center of the pile,

where everything has found itself

when you’ve let it go

Maybe that which weighed you down

wasn’t meant to be held onto

and once released it flies away

to someone else’s orbit,

leaving you to stand up on your own

When there’s no one and nothing left

to help carry the load

maybe it’s time to give yourself

the rest you need to rebuild and return

to places where the only back that carries

isn’t your own

I let old ghosts come back to haunt me

to keep my world from feeling empty.

They tear at the scars of old wounds that just won’t heal,

yet somehow the ceaseless noise and presence

is more comfortable than the lonliness

and isolation their screams and tendrils drive away.

So let their spectral fingers tighten around the memories

and pull them out to freshen up

and set back at my feet to trip and torture yet again.

Because better are the familiar failures

than to go and find new ones to fall into my lap

That open flame has burned before

Yet here it comes again

That sacrificial self-destruction

Because maybe this time is the one

When I control the spreading blaze

Just look away

Remember how it went before

Those ashes hard to rise from

The scars from burns long left behind

The sparks that catch every so often

Don’t throw yourself into the path

Don’t be the food that ignites an inferno

Let it be fanned by someone else

It’s not yours to control

Fetch the sutures and the scissors

It’s time to patch this patient up

Ready, steady the hand that guides

and let us now take haste

But wait, just where does that connect?

Is this a bone meant to be broken?

What of all this spare muscle tissue?

Does this joint hang freely now?

Do I really know the way

this is meant to operate?

Did we get the consent forms

with dotted I’s and all that jazz?

Can I truly say that I know

better than the patient here?

Or am I flying blind again?

Physician, heal thyself He said

Maybe I just forgot to listen…

Old flames still burning

unbeknownst to the poor fool

just passing through

The flames dance and lick his skin,

carving new scars and channels

in amongst the ones they left before

that never healed quite right

About to fall apart once more

at the very sight of one

he never quite saw coming

How fitting to find himself

in ashes once again

as she burns so bright across the room

Drawn in before, never to return

and yet the pull is stronger

than the will it took to climb

back out of the hole she left him in

what seems so long ago

There’s nothing worse than knowing

exactly what to do

when to do it means to

give up something

you dreamed of for so long

but the dream was never really yours

and for some time you’ve suffered

not wanting to admit

that it was never meant to be

To sever even the smallest string

that ties two souls together

and cast away the feeling

that once made you whole again

but now only brings anxiety

and sadness for what might have been

The time to leave it all behind

has long since come and gone,

and there was never anything

worth the price you keep on paying

Caught up in illusion

unwilling to see through it all

to realize you made yourself

into the laughing stock

It’s time to cut the cord

before you strangle yourself with it.

She’s long since washed her hands of it,

why can’t you do the same?