Set thy weapon down, sir knight
there’s nothing here to slay
no sweeping damsels off their feet
in a war of hearts and minds
that plate must weigh so heavy
on shoulders sagging beneath burdens
that were never yours to carry
better left to those around you
that may learn to share the load
no need to rush so quick to battle
let proverbial horses lie
just take a hand and stand beside
you don’t have to lead the way
Those words keep growing
in the back of my throat
choking off the airway
and pushing my tongue into my teeth
so difficult to force out
after all the times I’ve come to regret
letting them out
so burned, so scarred
by the mistake of believing them
time after time and now here I am
having to hold them back again
to stamp them down
lest they burst forth
like the spark that sets a wildfire
burning out of control
so sick of turning into ashes
having to dig to find the pieces
to reassemble yet again
I don’t think I have it in me
to rebuild myself again
and every time I’ve ever been
sure of anything in my life
I’ve learned the hard way
to never be sure of anything again
So don’t hold your breath
waiting for me to speak first
I’ll need a better signal
something to inspire
even a modicum of trust
in what I see and feel this time around
If I had only known what waited
for me down that road
I could have turned around
and walked away
instead I stumbled into
a trap of my own making
ignoring all the signs
I closed my eyes and kept on walking
blinded to the truth
I think I always knew inside
yet I took those red flags waving
and wrapped them tight around my face
no room to breath or smell
or see the coming end
of everything that kept me going
like a lost bird in the desert
the head so buried in the sand
such willful oblivion
as the world falls down around me
through the choices that I made
and the responses that they triggered
from someone that never seemed to care
near as much as I
Diving headfirst into worlds
you don’t really understand
tossing around words lacking in meaning
distorting the truths you think you’ve found
wrap yourself in comfort and security
born of lies and misunderstandings
go and sever all connection
with who and what you used to be
the lifeline isn’t strong enough
to pull you back from the abyss
you freely wander into
Someday may your journey lead
out into the other side
better for the experiences
but right now you’re as good as lost
among the weeds you see as beauty
Maybe it’s all over now
was it worth it?
I hope one day to look back
into time’s rosy tint
and smile knowing the ends
truly justified it all
the sleepless nights and struggles
but right now looking forward
all I see are dark skies
and land mines
to step blindly in between
I fear the worst
is ahead not behind
and that we can only imagine
what’s waiting
around those dark corners
clinging tight to a glimmer
of what little hope
Pandora left us
after all this ground we’ve covered
still moving on
Searching for true beauty
amid the desperation
when the struggle and the silence
fall away to show
that which makes it all worthwhile
those tender moments of honesty
soft and strong and buried deep
beneath the weight of mere existence
pressed like diamonds
into existence
honed like knives
from so much friction
we fight through endless
reams of bullshit
hands aligned to drag us down
all in hopes of tiny flashes
something more to keep us sane
that little smile
that gentle touch
those shared connections none can sunder
this world we’ve made
so cruel, so pointless
down deep there’s something
worth it all
You taught me to yell and scream
and fight and argue
even at the slightest inconvenience
You taught me to speak
over other voices
even the ones worth listening to
You taught me that which is not like you
isn’t to be respected or understood
but merely allowed to exist
as long as no one else might see
You taught me to throw my weight around
and that the world owes you everything
as long as you tried to give it something
at some point sometime long ago
You taught me that the man
should be taken care of
the head of the table
listened to and served by woman and child
You taught me that the world should just
get out of your way and let you
do what you want
because you always know best
and now it’s long past time to learn
to set that all aside
but I’m not sure I have the strength because
You didn’t teach me
Just a little word
before you walk away again
and leave me here
with only the walls to talk to
as I bleed myself dry
onto these metaphorical pages
like shouting into a vacuum
no one’s really listening
reaching out so desperately
for acknowledgement and connection
but the lines are down
no one’s at the other end
to give a damn
everyone has a life to lead
and maybe if we led them
a little more together
no one would have to feel alone
adriift in a sea of endless isolation
but here I am
tilting at the windmills again
just call me Don Quixote
and let me argue with these four walls
maybe the drywall will understand
as this time
instead of grasping
at the last shreds of sanity
I let it and them just slip away
and fall into the breakdown
maybe there will be someone there
to catch me as I fall apart…
Why do the words
“I’m wrong” and “I’m sorry”
weigh so heavy o
n the tongues of so many?
As if the mere admittance of failure
might tear a person’s soul asunder
or leave them empty
with nothing to hold onto
Speaking from experience
we are human and we err
probably far more often
than even the most humble
would feel comfortable admitting
Remember the old sayings
about erring and forgiving
the truth in those words we were passed down
and maybe we might find ourselves
lighter on our paths
if we let the words pass from our lips
Let them take away the burdens
of our darker moments
all that we should cling to
are the lessons learned in making,
not the mistakes themselves
I think I failed us both that day
I couldn’t give you what you asked
and sent us down the seperate roads
we’ve traveled ever since
All this rocky ground we’ve covered
I could’ve helped us both avoid
or at the very least provided
a little bit of guidance
had I had the foresight of
the consequences of my choices
It’s far too late to turn back now
no rewinding to that moment
but if I might provide the helping
hand you need to carry through
an offering to offset the trouble
we set in motion
with my words so long ago