How fucking dare you tell me how to grieve?

Take your false sympathy and disappear

Such a cold and callous person you turned out to be

Wrap your disgusting behavior in the shield of self-preservation

Your feelings are valid, after all

…but so are mine, right or wrong

and who are you to tell me what I can feel

or for how long?

If you can’t handle it, you could’ve walked away

at any point in time

or hell, you could’ve left me alone in the first place

…so why didn’t you?

Was my back just looking empty

waiting for you to get close enough to stab me in it?

I’ll never understand how you could turn so quickly

so completely

I guess it’s my fault for letting my guard down

too bad you weren’t worth trusting after all…

The only mistake I made was needing you

For that you felt you had to walk away

and try to let me drown in my emotions

I hope there never comes a day

when you need me in some way again

because I will never bleed myself

for someone that set out to crush me

I do enough harm to myself

that I don’t need the help

Why would you ever look back?

I’d bet I never meant anything

Just a speck in your rear view

as you speed off into the distance

To you I was next to nothing

yet to me you were everything

and now I’m left wondering

just what it was I thought I wanted

and where to go next

as I feel these four walls

start to tighten up around me

Guess you should be glad you got away…

Me? I’m stuck where I’ve always been

Left behind with nothing

While you vanish into the horizon

I’m left blind to pick up pieces

I’d thought I’d picked up with your help…

I think the worst part

is knowing there’s no possible way

that you miss me

as much as I miss you

This is what you wanted

what you asked for

and I’m the one that suffers through

That’s just the story of my life

No one ever gives a damn

about what I want

except me, and I don’t count

at least not to anyone else

I’m always the one that sacrifices

always the one that conpromizes

I’ve met in the middle so much

I just never leave it

I never have the power

have never held the upper hand

There always seems to be a rug

to pull out from underneath me

I always end up flat on my face

as everyone points and laughs around me

The moment I ask for anything

it’s too much for someone else

and they walk away

I’m stuck empty-handed

broken-hearted

and alone

You weren’t the only one I leaned on

but you were the one I leaned on hardest

and you were the only one

that responded to my leaning

by pulling away last minute

and letting me tumble to the ground

The silence hurt

but nothing hurt worse

than the surgical removal

of every connection

save one sliver

that I wish I had the heart

to cut away myself

Because if I can’t rely on you

I won’t call you a friend

And if I can’t trust you

as far as I can throw you

why would I waste my time?

I wish the human brain was a canvas

so that I could just erase your very presence

and never have to deal with the unbidden thoughts

You proved how little you really cared

so for me to be stuck thinking of you

at such inopportune times

feels like the ultimate insult

My subconscious craves self-mutilation

(at least as far as I can tell)

and you’ve handed it a smorgasbord

served up on metaphorical silver platters

enough to haunt me for months

How did I let things get this far?

And how am I supposed to shake you?

when some part of me still cares

even though there’s no reason to

and you’d never understand

just as I can’t seem to understand you…

I’ve got nothing left in me to say

The words would only fall on deaf ears

and why speak when no one’s bothering to listen?

You keep on running full speed ahead

damn the consequences

of what you run into and what you leave behind

It would be funny to stand here

and watch you go right off that cliff

but why waste my time?

You want freedom, so take it

Squeeze it for all it’s worth

and when the next storm comes and wipes you out

I hope you have enough support to rise again

but it won’t me my helping hands

or supportive words

lifting you up ever again

Maybe you bit off more than you could chew

but that should be your mistake to own

and I shouldn’t be the one to pay for it

I supported you when you needed it

and yet you couldn’t do the same

and even refuse to see

so overwhelmed by what you tried to take on

that you just dropped it all and walked away

…but I can’t walk away from myself

or the mess my world’s been left

I have to stay and clean it up

and unlike you I know I can’t do it alone

I’m so glad that you’re strong you think ou can handle it all

but you proved just how weak you really are

the moment I tried to lean on you

for just a second or two

and you just stepped away and let me fall

The world just keeps on moving

and I don’t know what to think

What am I supposed to be doing?

Am I supposed to feel?

I’m just numb and tired

of trying to find my place

Every time I find a new direction

I just end up lost

back where I started from

bored, confused, alone

and empty yet again

Am I meant for something

or just a cosmic fluke?

I wonder if I’ll ever know

or ever really matter

beyond this little bubble

I feel trapped in…

One round in and I’m thinking of you

Gonna be a long night out

if I can’t shake this feeling

Another beer and another sad song

and my mind drifts away again

This is hardly your kind of scene

and maybe that’s the point

I think I’m not drunk enough

to be this maudlin

I’m supposed to having fun

and forgetting all about

the mistakes we made along the way

but you’re always on my mind these days

so here’s to one more drink

and one more go

Maybe this’ll be the one

that gets you out of my head